My first experience with charity work was when my own kids started school. I wanted to cultivate in them a sense of helping someone less fortunate than they were. So we “adopted” a little girl, Emma, from Africa, whom we paid for yearly so she could attend school. Besides just sending a yearly fee, I encouraged the kids to communicate with Emma through letters and to send her photos and small gifts bought with their allowance.
This paid off. I feel both of my kids grew up with a deep compassion for others and a willingness to make some sacrifices in their own lives to contribute to a cause they believe in.
But the memory I find funny from that time is how much satisfaction I myself got out of it, that feeling of being proud of myself for being a “good” person. Even then, I remember thinking about it philosophically: what was it that made me feel so good about myself? At the time, I didn’t have a framework for understanding ego and how it manifests.
I continued to support various charities I liked and believed in, in whatever way I could, and was lucky to have friends who led projects of their own, each supporting a different cause.
Whether it was helping my friend Carolien organize Christmas gifts for kids in an orphanage, participating in “TERIBEAR hýbe Prahou” organized by the Tereza Maxová Foundation for children in need, BeCharity Bazaars set up by the BeCharity Endowment Fund of Bára Nesvadbová and Pavlína Saudková to support the chronically ill and disadvantaged, or, one of my favorites, running the New York City Marathon to raise money for my friend and Italian teacher Emanuela (an Italian nun living in Prague, with two other nuns, loved and supported by Prague’s Italian community, who set up a system to bring food to Prague Main Station every morning to feed the homeless), I found myself drawn to showing up, again and again, in whatever way I could.
I never suspected that years later, actually going and volunteering at the Hematology Department of the General University Hospital in Prague a few times a week would literally be one of the things that saved me from losing my mind. I was in the middle of the most difficult part of my life, completely lost, a prisoner of my own mind, not just lacking purpose, but lacking the desire to keep going. I felt I had tried everything I could, and there was nothing left to do. But having read, from different psychology books and Eastern philosophies, that shifting focus away from the inside of your own head and toward helping others has immense benefits for psychological health, I decided to find a charity where I could make at least a small difference in someone’s day.
By chance, I found a charity organization run by Pavel Novotný. One of its projects is Kavárny Života (Cafés of Life), small coffee shops operated inside the oncology and hematology departments of hospitals, where volunteers not only make coffee for patients, but spend time talking with them, trying to ease the time patients spend during chemotherapy or waiting to see doctors.
As with any kind of “therapy,” it took time to work. During my visits to Kavárna Života, I consciously worked with my mind to fully focus on what I was doing and on the people in front of me. In a way, I’d call it a mindfulness practice, being completely in the moment. When you’re depressed, your mind is mostly focused on the past: what you could have done differently, how happy you were at certain points in your life, always comparing, always scanning. When you’re anxious, your mind is in the future, worrying about what’s going to happen, imagining different, usually negative scenarios. Volunteering didn’t just give me the satisfaction of doing something small for someone else. It completely anchored my mind in the present moment.
These days, when I feel so much better, I still try to set aside a couple of hours a week to go to Kavárna Života. Now I use it not only as a mindfulness practice, but instead of a gratitude journal (I’m not great at writing one), a practice that reminds me to be grateful for every day my family and I are healthy, and a reminder to give back.
So, my question: is charity work and volunteering selfish or selfless? Why do we do it, to make ourselves feel better, or to genuinely do something good for others? My answer: it’s both. And what a great practice it is, when at the same time we can benefit our own psychological health and help others.
I strongly encourage anyone to set aside a little time for this practice. Find something that speaks to you, whether it’s working with children, helping older people, or getting involved with animal shelters. There are always so many projects run by different charities looking for volunteers. It’s wonderful to make a small financial contribution to a cause you believe in, but what will make a real difference for you is getting personally involved.
Below, I’ll list some of the charities I’ve worked with or that my friends are involved in, the ones I truly believe in. I hope you’ll find something that speaks to your heart.
Emanuela
For more than 25 years Emanuela, Anna Rosa and Chiara, three Italian nuns living in Prague, have brought food to homeless people at Prague Central Station. If you want to support this, please send your donations to: UniCredit Bank 1026935001/2700 - Dum sester Frantiskanek Misionarek Nejsvetejsiho Srdce - U Sanatoria 1, 153 00, Praha 5, Radotin
Šance pro plíce (Chance for Lungs) –
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